Saturday, September 12, 2015

Golden Pineapple - PhatPanda

Brand: PhatPanda
Strain: Golden Pineapple
Sativa-dominant Hybrid

Potency Analysis: TTL 21.7% THC 1.0% CBD 0.4% THCA 23.6%

Cost: $15/gram
Store: Freedom Market in Longview, WA


Harvested: 07/13/2015
Smoked: 09/09/2015

Packaging: 2.5" x 2" glass jar with black plastic screw-on lid

I love PhatPanda.  All their marijuana is delicious, they're a really professional and consistent recreational marijuana producer and processor.  This Golden Pineapple is no different.  This marijuana experience, however, is different than all the others I've had because it's the first time I've found foreign matter in my legal, recreational marijuana.

This was not all that big of a deal.  I didn't notice it while doing my first inspection and photos of the marijuana. I noticed it once I was manipulating those photos.  In the top photo on this post, you can see some very white hairs near the center.

You can see this isn't very large.  It's likely some rope or something left over from baling the buds or something.  It's clearly plastic.  Probably nylon, which means if I had smoked this little 8mm bit, I likely would have had some seriously bad taste, acrid smoke, and horrific coughing.  If it was part of a real big bong hit, maybe even some vomiting - I've seen that happen from plastic bits in pot before. No matter what, it would not have been pleasant.  If I didn't take pictures and edit them on a big screen, I don't think I would have seen this.

PhatPanda, I know you're the fastest growing marijuana processor - you have to be aware of things like this.  It's taken me about 115 strains of legal marijuana - most in single grams - before coming across some foreign matter, so clearly this isn't something that's a common issue.  It's more of a c'mon issue.  It happened and now I'm compelled to wonder how many other grams of marijuana are sitting on retailer shelves right now that had some more of that plastic rope due to simple carelessness?

I really do love all the PhatPanda products I've purchased - their pre-rolls are ground a bit too fine leading to side-burn, but otherwise they are among the Top Few in consistent quality I've encountered so far.  Don't get me wrong, I will be buying more - I'll just be looking closely.

The smell on the marijuana is super-fruity.  The Pineapple is present.  It's very tropical and vegetative-pungent. All over this is sweet fruity stank - you can almost feel the smell on your fingers as you interact with the pot.  It broke down into excellent consistency - this is the result of absolutely ideal moisture content.

Smoking this was delightful!  The sweet pineapple is absolutely forefront on the flavor of this.  It is all around the palette and stays through on the exhale.  A nasal exhale on this is itchy and caused sneezing but they were tropical island sneezes.

The high was very creative.  My uplift was fast and huge.  There was such an active feel to this marijuana.  I could not sit down or hold still, I wanted to make something with my hands! The legs lasted a good long time, and were productive throughout.

Gungy bit of foreign matter aside, this is outstanding marijuana - it's straight up pineapple sativa and I enjoyed every puff of it.


  1. Good PSA post. Just think what would have happened if you had just ground up that flower and smoked it. Recently, a friend purchased pre-rolls from Green Lady. One of them made he and his girlfriend quite nauseous after a few tokes. So much so they threw everything away they bought that day (overkill probably). That story made me realize that pre-rolls are the cannabis equivalent to ground beef from the grocery store: who knows what is being hidden by grounding it all up? Are proper controls used when dealing with pounds of finely ground cannabis to prevent mold? Now I wonder if any other foreign matter gets ground up with the weed. A good reason to stick to whole flower - much easier to see if you are getting quality weed.

    1. I agree absolutely about pre-rolls and not knowing where it comes from. I have had a couple 'bad' pre-rolls, but for the most part I've enjoyed all of them and will keep buying them.

      I think throwing everything away because of one pre-roll is a bit silly - especially if it was different brands. One thing about it is for sure - the retailer has zero control over that.

      I'm not mad at PhatPanda, and I'll buy more of their pot, for sure.

  2. You should be getting pre roll for free from your local club they did everytime for me in cali while in school, That is my only advise is stop buying pre-rolls!

    Been looking through some reviews of other strains by you and I think this is great!
    Helped me choose ones to grow out.
    Its amazing how much different prices are compared to BC, you can't ask for over 200 oz for the fire, so thats a 50 qtr all day. And yet the clubs you purchase are 50-60 for a 1/8 based on gram prices. Thats a $6400 pound haha, which means they are greedy weed monglers.
    Can't you just grow your own now. A friend down in Seattle told me you cant even see/smell the buds which is
    completely corrupt. Is this true? While oregon is completely unregulated at the moment?
    and Pay your big corporations don't have too? Gosh I hate taxes so mush I quit all other jobs that don't pay cash and became a mushroom picker!

    1. Right on Anon, I'm glad you like my reviews. You bring good discussion, I'm glad you're here. Keep coming back and tell your stoner friends!

      WA recreational marijuana does not allow the giving away of any product whatsoever. The minimum sale price can be the cost they paid for it, and there is a seed-to-sale tracking system. The end user is not tracked but the transaction is. These are currently all cash transactions.

      There are no 'clubs' here and we don't have to say 'getting medicated' to stay legal. Marijuana is legal and we go to stores that themselves are heavily regulated. Take a look at some of my store reviews, you can see exactly how these experiences look. We can't see marijuana directly, but many companies provide 'smell jars', and the packaging for the most part is transparent somewhere.

      You can always hit up and see if he's reviewed the brand, strain, or store! Or you try things out because it's totally legal, it's relatively cheap, and there are a shit ton of things to try. Budtenders generally tell the truth because there's deep competition.

      I think CA legal marijuana is going to look something like WA, and OR will definitely be instituting some form of seed-to-sale tracking system. WAPot is going to be a real clear model for state-by-state legalization and maybe even federal legalization. The reason this will be is that it effectively and efficiently achieves the control of marijuana trade while allowing the consumer to go to a store, say "What's going to get me the highest?" and then buy a bunch of it - in WA up to an ounce of flower.

      In regards prices - I'm buying by the gram maybe two, so obviously I'm paying a premium. Decent eighths go for anywhere from $30-$50, and quarters might be $50-70. An ounce can run from $125 to $400 - and that's the most flower you can have in one transaction. High end, quality concentrates run $25-50 per gram, and sold usually in 0.5-1.0 gram (the maximum size) containers - and you can get up to 7 grams. If you look at my concentrate reviews you can see some of the available variety.

      In regards the taxes - I do know that taxes are an important thing. Taxes allow the getting of shit done in this correct, horrible society that has been built by people who worshiped corporatism and nationalism - the Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers. The bankers run all things right now and you have to pay to make it worthwhile. Hopefully that will change as younger, more rational, godless potheads take more roles in designing and shaping society. One day we'll need to start hanging the ruler-class from lightposts near the mansions they've built themselves on the strife their greed has brought to the existence of tens of thousands of homeless American children whose parents went double bankrupt or got their jobs sold out or any number of horrific misfortunes that are thrown upon hard working people by rich people and all of society will grow. Deep breath. In this case, these taxes are why we have the legal marijuana.

      So, I hate taxes but what I do is make sure that when the taxes level out, I utilize everything possible to end up on top. I've been filing a 1040 form working since I was 14 and only once have I had to pay taxes - every other time I was refunded some amount. I never had to even shade the truth to accomplish this.

      Listen you really drew a huge rant out of me, I hope it makes sense. I've been smoking some delicious Grape Stomper for the past few hours.

    2. One thing I want to point out more clearly about pre-rolls -

      There are often really great Pre-rolls out there. I just recently had a whole week of preroll posts and most of them were outstanding, only one was outright bad.